2.32AM

 

232bathroom

 

2.32 !!!

Awake!! Need the loo!!!

Blast that last cup of tea!

 

 

232tea

 

 

Creep back to bedroom.

Feel my way through the gloom.

Slide into bed silently.

 

232sleep

 

 

Turn hot pillow over;

cools my neck and my shoulder.

Slip into sleep happily.

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The Rump

fatback

I can cope with my belly

wobbling like jelly.

I can cope with

my thunderous thighs.

You see I’ve had both

much longer than most

actually… for most of my life.

 

But something that’s new

and just will not do

is a rump

that’s appeared behind.

Just above my rear

a mound has appeared

and this

I most definitely mind.

 

My shape has expanded

with no effort demanded,

unnoticed by my drowsy eyes.

But….one fateful morn

in the cold light of dawn

I saw a rump

that could feed a small tribe.

 

My back once was a line

punctuated by my

bottom at the bottom

of my spine.

But now it stops short

at the rump

I now port;

a short line

of mine

is NOT fine.

 

Yet here’s my conundrum

for the heap over my bum

I’ve never ever met

Will Power.

A diet of shakes

or small salad days

never lasts for more

than an hour.

 

So I guess I’ll resign

to this new shape of mine

buy elasticated waists

and stretch pants.

Take up a bit more seat

whilst I continue to eat

in between meals and

open mic rants.

Annoyed Trout (Predictive Text)

Changes

 

“Predictive text you are so clever”

said no one in the world pepper.

You act when there is no seaweed

inserting “penis” instead of “please.”

When inadvertently, I press a key

where are you to rescue me?

If the settings were simple to use,

I would have turned you off Syracuse

but as I’m unable to figure it out,

here you stay to annoy my trout.

frustration