The Silent Protest; Procrastination
Apparently low self-esteem is the cause
that darn inner chimp’s at it again.
I don’t feel worthy or up to the task
when it’s overwhelming, too much of an ask
so I distract my feeble brain.
I choose to re-arrange, to sort, to file,
to categorise, to wash, dry and fold
to put off the job I’m loathe to do
(you may even find me cleaning the loo!)
whilst the larger task stays on hold
I beat myself up, notice I’m hiding away
from a deadline that’s looming larger each day
my brain is prioritising short term wins
an alphabetised spice rack and emptied bins
as I wash the pots and put away.
The answer: to forgive myself, releasing pent up emotion
the specialists say the result will be
facing the future optimistically
being the best I can possibly be
propulsion into forward motion
Another tactic is a sideways manoeuvre
sneaking up when my cranium’s not looking:
To ponder and pontificate on the what would be
Ask myself quite casually
“What would my next move actually be
if I were to start this project, of course hypothetically
because I’m not actually going to do it, silly”
Psychologists at a University in Ohio
formed a Procrastination Research Group
They delved and discovered this theory, this truth
Of taking oneself out of the no-go loop
Of getting on and doing what is needed to do.
Did they quickly arrive at this conclusion?
or did it take them a while?
I wonder how tidy their shelves are,
if their papers are chronologically filed?
(I’d like to see if their rest room gleams)
I ask with a sceptical wry smile.
Day 17 of Napowrimo- I completely missed out Day 16 (I love my kids more than poetry. Sorry! ) and now I have gone off piste with this one…. but it’s apt. Procrastination, my favourite past time.